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From USA Today Bestselling author of The Men of Steel series, MJ Fields comes a sexy new romantic comedy.
“BUT WAIT, that’s not enough. Throw a last hoorah with all of their friends in Vegas with, booze and strippers? I mean what says undying, everlasting love and faithfulness like lap dances and used up snatch picking $20 bills off someone’s face?
“Then all of the sudden they wake up the next day and are never going to want it again? Yeah, right. Let me ask you when is the last time you ate just one double stuffed Oreo cookie?
“Don’t kid yourself that just eating the cream inside isn’t cheating, eating is cheating.
“The next time you see a stripper pole, or hell any pole for that matter, tell yourself you aren’t going to remember the single most exciting night of your life.
“The same ‘happy’ couple get ass raped for hosting an elaborate soiree, to celebrate a marriage that will end up failing. Don’t roll you eyes at me, it’s fact. You know damn well they’re fighting over the details of the damn wedding too. Can you feel the love? Me either.
“After the ass fucking without lube, they spend a mint on a honeymoon where they spent ninety percent of the time shit faced and fucking, seldom leaving their resort suite, yet it cost a grand a night.
“Now they have spent a minimum of 10 grand themselves and that’s if they didn’t have to pay for the damn party celebrating their ‘union’. Hell I can celebrate a union with a fucking Happy Meal and a bottle of Jack. He can bring his own condoms, now it’s a fucking party.”
“Kat?” Josie sighs. “You asked how I felt about weddings. You know damn well I’m not going to hold back.”
“What I was trying to ask is how you felt about mine. Blaine asked me to marry him last night. I want you and Cecilia to be in the wedding. I want you to be my maid of honor,” she says as sweet as Josie is.
Fighting the urge to bash my head against the counter until I knock myself completely out, I answer the only way I can, “I would be honored.”
She giggles. “Sure you would.”
I bare my teeth trying my best not to growl.
“You and Blaine are different.” She laughs.
“His parents are loaded. I will assume you aren’t paying for the wedding. I’m sure the ring isn’t on plastic you won’t start out the way,” I pause and try my best to dig myself out of the hole I’ve dug. This isn’t easy for me, I normally don’t give a shit less I offend. “Besides, you’ve been together four years now.”
“Five, we graduated last year,” she says. “Right, well then, yours will be smooth sailing.”
“We’re moving about an hour from you,” she says with a big smile, I don’t even have to see her, I can hear it.
“That’s so cool. I am off Sundays and Mondays every week. We’ll get together.”
“I’d love to, and maybe meet some of your friends?”
“Josie, I promise, I have real friends.” I laugh knowing she worries about me, even though she knows I can take care of myself.
“No she doesn’t,” Rico says walking out from the back of the shop.
“Jesus.” I jump covering my heart with my hand.
“Kat why are you even trying to cover your heart, we all know you don’t have one,” he says and winks.
“Who was that?” Josie gasps.
“What, Rico? He’s the jackass I hang out with here at the shop,” I say as I flip him off.
“He has a very, very, nice voice,” she whispers.
“He does not sound like the Taco Bell dog Josie,” I say to piss him off and embarrass her.
“I didn’t say that,” she gasps.
Rico laughs and shakes his head. “I’m heading out.”
“Jerry Springer call?”
He turns around. “I hope you get vaginal warts.”
“Well I hope you get three chicks knocked up and they all come after you at once,” I pause, “Oh you did.”
“Much love to you too Kitty Kat.” He flips me off and walks out the door.
I shake my head as I watch him swing his big old leg over, One and Only, his Harley. Yes, that’s it’s name. “Sorry,” I laugh.
“His voice, is…” she pauses and she whispers, “Sexy.”
I can’t help but laugh. “There’s a line that goes down the block to get inked by him. I can give you a jump the line pass if you’re interested in one last hoorah before your nuptials.”
“Is there really?” she whispers.
“Apparently he’s a hot commodity around here. Six foot three of inked, pierced, testosterone, who evidently has the stamina of twenty men, or so he says.”
“So you haven’t-”
“Oh hells no! Are you serious, the guy is an STI waiting to happen. He gets paternity suits delivered to him like a funeral home gets flowers.”
She laughs. “How many kids does he have?”
“One for sure, three now just waiting to find out.” I laugh. “It’s almost comical, I have no idea what his aversion is to sane women, condoms, or just tossing his own meat. I mean really-”
Her laugh interrupts my rant. “Boy or girl?”
“Little girl, she’s three,” I answer.
“I can’t wait to have babies,” she says with a coo. “You need to get married so you and I can have kids-”
“Eww, no, not happening. They’re little germ spreading, time suckers, who rip apart your vag. Not interested.”
“Ever?” she asks.
“No. Not ever.” I know where this conversation will lead, hell I visit it at least once a month with my Mom-ster, I mean mother, so I decide to sway the conversation to my second least favorite subject, weddings. “So when is the big day?”
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